There's Nothing Pretty About Tragic Beautiful

Here's a *funny* that happened to me two months ago, entitled:

When a company with over 100,000 fans on Facebook asks you to blog for them, you don't turn it down. 

This wasn't a job that was advertised nor was it one that I applied for. This company emailed me specifically after finding my blog, and asked if I would be interested in working for them. 

My role was to write 300-400 word blog posts about topics which would interest their key demographic - mainly women interested in alternative clothing, tattooing/body modification etc. 

As soon as I said I'd love to blog for them, things just went downhill from there.

It was impossible to get a response from people - waiting several weeks at a time and having to send follow-up messages before getting a reply. I understand businesses can't respond immediately, but when it's you who has initiated the communication, I would expect it to be more efficient process.

My last e-mail from Tragic Beautiful was almost a month ago. That's when I was notified that they would "not be proceeding with (my) blogging services at this time." I replied almost immediately, asking why that was the case. I have not received a response.

The one big question which remains unanswered is: Why did they even bother to email me in the first place?

If their goal was to give me (false) hope and then shatter it to pieces, they've achieved just that. 

I stupidly told my parents about this job opportunity, and even more foolishly, I believed it myself. I thought maybe I'd be able to finally move out of home, possibly break my no-tattoo streak, and even gain some similar freelance work from other companies. Instead, I am left with nothing. 

Until you've been without a job for some time, you don't understand what this entire ordeal has done to me. 

I have so little self confidence as it is, and for this to happen to me confirms that I am worth nothing to people. 

After years of being torn down and walked all over, I don't expect much from people. All I want is to be shown some damn respect. 

I should have known it was too good to be true.

When will I ever learn...